• Ike Ukazu

The Slap

Updated: Mar 31




Yes, I am writing about this. Why? Because I think it offers a valuable learning moment for me as a man.


People are going to piss you off. That's life. You're going to get offended sometimes. That is also life.

What you do about that is what matters. And it's easier said than done.


One of the things I learned from my oldest sister when I used to get in trouble all the time in Elementary School was that my actions have consequences. I also learned from society that it's really hard to keep your emotions on track when you feel the flames of shame and rage from public embarrassment.


Perspective is everything. I learned from one of my mentors when I was in office in an organization to be intentional and deliberate with your actions like a chess player with their pieces. This means that you have to know how one of your actions will play out a month from now if not even a decade from now because the decisions we make today will affect our tomorrow. They will echo.


I guess I'm writing this more for myself than for my audience but I do hope that this can help someone who reads this. Maintaining a level head is a sign of a great leader. Letting your emotions get the best of you in any situation can hurt and affect many people in a negative way.


I recently had a situation that could have gotten out of hand. Was I pissed? Hell yeah, I was. But what I learned from that situation was that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. I also remember that the most important thing that one can have is their opinion about themselves and of course as a Christian man, the opinion that God has of you. In actuality and in my opinion, nothing else matters. You have to live with yourself. Everyone else just sees you in passing.


If something like that happens in a public place where the offense can arise, you really have to slow things down and almost detach from the situation to gain perspective. If you respond, make sure your next move is in alignment with your personal values, you can truly be the man or woman that you want to be. If you don't, however, you may get the satisfaction of releasing your shame onto someone else and a burst of anger but then have to deal with the repercussions of the negativity reflected back towards you. You reap what you sow.


This isn't to say that you do nothing but it is to say that you take counsel with yourself and pass experiences in order to have the best possible action going forward.

What I also found interesting about the situation is that it completely overshadowed Will's first Oscar EVER! That is a clear, and I mean CLEAR, message to me is a man that I need to watch my step. Period. It doesn't matter what I achieve or do for the good, One misstep can taint all that you've worked for.

Does it mean that I'm going to be perfect? No way. That's impossible. And there's going to be grace for that from my Lord and Savior. But it does mean that I need to pay more attention to my character than any accomplishment. Character matters more than reputation. Thank you for the lesson, gentlemen.

And because it seems so appropriate now more than ever...and may never get to say in any other context..


I'd like to thank the Academy too.


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PS. People can't seem to leave commentary here so feel free to leave commentary on my social media channels

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